What's on the other side of sacrifice? Is it worth it?
This is a personal exception to a point I recently made about not conforming to other people’s expectations.
I will only stretch beyond who I really am for the sake of growth and the greater good. It won’t be fun, nor easy, and possibly not even immediately beneficial, but sometimes things must be done, and sometimes it is you who must do it. Sometimes, there is a frame that you must fit for the sake of others.
When I was a junior at Claflin University, a beloved professor of mine approached me and a classmate about being the first students in a 4+1 program between our department and the School of Communications at the University of South Carolina. He made it clear that because this was a new program, they needed the two of us to make a good impression. This pilot cohort needed to succeed for the program to continue, and free master’s degrees could be offered to Claflin students in the future. This wasn’t just about us. It was about every cohort that could come after us.
I never wanted to go to grad school; let me make that very clear. I wanted to jump right into my content design career after graduation.
But when the other person in my cohort chose to pursue a Ph.D. at another university instead of continuing with the master’s program, my dearest professor and my equally honest dean made it clear to me that the success of this partnership rested solely on me now. If I succeeded, the program succeeded. If I backed out, this opportunity wouldn’t be offered to anyone again.
Talk about pressure.
Nevertheless, I pushed through because I knew what my perseverance would mean for others. My mentee was preparing to be in the cohort after me. It was partially for the sake of that delightful human being that I pressed myself up and down that campus 3 times a week. In addition to my mentee, there were so many other people that I didn’t even know that could come behind me; how could I let them down?
I pushed myself to achieve the expectations other people set for me because it was no longer about me. It was about sacrifice for the greater good of the people around me. My logic was “I’ve been blessed with the chance to get my undergraduate and graduate degrees for free, so let me push just a little further so somebody else’s child can get a degree for free.”
I succeeded because they needed me to succeed. Period. But I want to clarify this was certainly not accomplished on my own strength. I was deeply supported through that experience by my dean and professor at Claflin, my friends, and family who weren’t going to let me get too down, the Lord, and the singular other Black woman in my program (s/o Kira <3).
I complained a lot, I’ll admit it. But I made it work; I made it worth it.
Y’all can ask Emersen, Zach, or Daniel how many times I said I wanted to drop out. Academically, the coursework was rather simple. But emotionally and spiritually, surviving fall 2021 was, to this day, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I didn’t drop out, though, and my commitment to succeeding for the sake of others paid off: that 4+1 program between the #1 HBCU in South Carolina and the state’s flagship university is now on its third cohort.
My mentee, whose success and access to free graduate education motivated me initially, graduated this past August with a Master of Mass Communications with a concentration in Broadcast Journalism. By the end of this year, a cohort of six Claflin students would have been awarded graduate degrees at no cost to them because I chose fortitude over succumbing to my fatigue and discomfort. The fourth cohort is preparing to start in the spring, I heard.
That’s legacy, baby. That’s what the other side of sacrifice looks like.
I’m not writing this piece to brag about what I’ve done or to paint myself as the sole reason that this opportunity is available to these students. I’m writing this piece for the person on the brink of quitting.
This is for the person on the other side of the screen who has been called to sacrifice for the greater good, for their community, for somebody else. I’m writing this piece because I need you to know, my friend, that one day not far from now you’ll be finished and it’ll have meant something. Your sacrifice is not for naught, dear.
When people just demand you to go beyond who you are for their own desires, then no. I encourage you to reject that image of you that does not belong to you. But when people ask you to go beyond who you are for the sake of community, of legacy, of generosity, of the greater good of those who will come behind you, I ask that you consider answering the call.
Answer the call and garner the strength to see it through. If not for the sake of those to come, do it as an act of gratitude for those who came before you.
Thalia, an ancestor-in-training, is just trying to push the needle forward.
