I’m leaving here with something. Or nothing.
I almost didn't share a piece this week. I very honestly didn't feel like it. But if I was willing to break a 27 week publishing streak over a feeling, I knew it was something I needed to interrogate. As I kept trying to start a draft, it felt as though the more I tried to find the words, the more they seemed to evade me. After a failed attempt at executing an outline, I decided to rest on my other, less utilized tools of self-expression to put a name to what I feel.
While I regret to not have a cohesive piece of work to share with you today, I instead present a playlist, a collage, a haiku, and an excerpt from the original outline for this piece.
winter is coming
I brace myself and focus
spring is coming, too.
something about rejection. something about good music. something about being comforted by the balance in it all. Costly repair followed by a free coffee. Not having the space or time to grieve anymore. Kinda just taking blows as they come, they don’t hurt much anymore.
I made it to the final round for a content designer job. I gave arguably my best portfolio presentation of my life. From hundreds of applicants, they dwindled it down to me and another person with a bit more experience. They chose the other person. I ain’t have time to grieve, fr. I had to go to work.
I got tickets to Two Door Cinema Club and Mick Jenkins. My room’s clean. My Spotify AI DJ put me on to some really amazing music in the last few weeks. I got a 16 oz. iced coffee with oat milk and vanilla syrup for free the other day. My therapist left me so gagged, I’m going to finally set some boundaries I should’ve set a decade ago. I’ve been sleeping so, so good. I’ve been talking to my friends a lot. This burden don’t feel as heavy as it could. God still with me. Blessed are those who endure.
Thalia is doing her best and is grateful to God for every day she gets to try again.
