From a pro
I've been let go suddenly, without warning – twice. And as of this week, I’ve just gone three for three.
I'm not writing this for sympathy, I'm writing this for those who may be facing their first job loss ever. It's not a nice place to be in and as a single, non-parent person with few bills in my name, I'll admit that my situation is certainly privileged compared to most.
But though my financial obligations are few – for now – that does not make the reality of a layoff any less real. It hurts, it's spooky, it's absolutely no fun. I'm not here to make layoffs sound exciting or uplifting. They're not. What I am here to do is to offer what's worked for me in the past in hopes that it may be of some use if you or someone you love is ever in this situation. I truly pray you are not.
This is good practice anyway, but keep PDF versions of everything somewhere safe and on a personal device at all times. I'm talking W-2s, paystubs, job descriptions, and whatever else you've got.
When it comes to your portfolio, make sure you grab all the evidence and examples you (legally) can for future job applications and portfolio presentations. Check with your manager ideally long before a layoff comes up to be sure that what you're trying to add to your portfolio isn't classified or otherwise unsharable.
Even if you're super secure in your job, keeping screenshots and even written praises from colleagues or clients is always a helpful move to document your impact.
Don't just ghost folks and only hit them up when you need something. I'm not saying they'll be heated with you, but it's always a better move to just keep connections fresh and healthy, even if you're not necessarily asking them for anything in that moment. A quick and genuine "Hey! Just checking in to see how you're doing." can go so far when it comes to maintaining a professional relationship.
And then, if the time comes, reach out to those folks that you trust for something small like a resume or portfolio review.If they have a referral to offer, let them lead with that. Keep your ask manageable instead of a "please save my entire career, oh great and generous one."
Layoffs and applying for jobs can be a very time demanding and energy draining expedition. It's a really vulnerable time, when every email could be the email, every interview feels high stakes, and you feel like your entire future hangs in the balance of this portfolio presentation. If you're not careful, this can leave you anxious and even physically ill.
My recommendation? Find a daily routine and stick to it. Don't spend all your waking hours on LinkedIn. Get outside. Engage in your community. Volunteer. Hang out with loved ones. Commit to being active. Make goals that don't relate to getting a job, like reading a certain amount of books or running a certain amount of miles per week.
This isn't for everyone, but this is what has worked for me: decentering work and reducing its impact on my self-worth.
My first layoff was so painful because I had entangled my identity with my income and my job title. So when my job failed, I felt like a failure too, despite my own performance having nothing to do with what happened. What I know now that I wish I knew then was that I am not my job. I'm a designer, yes, but I'm a whole human being who does not live to work, even if I enjoy that work.
I am not my salary. I am not my employment status. I am a person with a well-rounded life and my value as a human is not tied to things like a career. Though society has historically placed such a heavy focus on things like your income, relationship status, car make and model, and Instagram follow count, I have decided recently to actively decenter what I'm being encouraged to center. And in its place, I've been working to center things I actually care about: how well I'm living like Jesus, what kind of friend I am, how I treat my parents, how I show up in my neighborhood, whether I'm kind, how well I'm taking care of my body, etc.
It's been critical to my mental health to remind myself regularly that this is just a job. And just because I lose my job doesn't mean I have to lose myself.
The blame game in the context of a layoff is when you try to figure out who made the decision, why they made that decision, and why it had to be you. I promise you, playing this game will not do you any favors. This game makes it easy to feel defeated, slighted, offended, disrespected, or even targeted. It’s easy for confusion about why you, what could’ve happened differently, whose fault it is, and where it all went wrong to take over your focus. But those questions won’t get you very close to healing.
Unless you plan on taking legal action (which, if you think something illegal has gone down, definitely ring the alarm!!!), the best question you can ask yourself is “what do I know to be true about myself and this situation?” For me, the answer to that sounds like
I’m not telling you to rush into figuring out what’s next or how you’re going to make rent next month. The antidote to playing the blame game (trying to figure where to shift responsibility, who to point the finger at) is to lean your entire bodyweight into the truth of the matter. And the truth, 9/10, is that being laid off is not a reflection of who you are, what you do, and how well you do it. The blame game isn’t worth it. Tap out while you’re ahead.
It's easy to feel embarrassed or ashamed after a job loss. Even if it's not your fault and you know it's not your fault and everyone around you also knows it's not your fault, it's still quite easy to feel bad about even being in this position in the first place.
It'd behoove you, in those moments, to return to that portfolio you've worked so hard on and especially those quotes from former colleagues about what it's like working with you.
Because the myths we write in our heads, especially once the inevitable rejection emails start rolling in, will try to convince us that we're not actually that good and maybe we're not cut out for this anyway. But once you actually look at your work and look at what people have said about that work, you'll be reminded that you are not washed up. You belong here, you are uniquely valuable, and you do excellent, extraordinary work. Knowing who you are and what you're capable of in the face of rejection is the key to moving forward in strength and honor.
And with that my friends, I bid you good luck. Again, I pray you won't need these words and frankly, I pray I won't need these again either. But you and I can only control what we can control, nothing more. If we focus on staying true to ourselves, we cannot lose.
Thalia, 25, knows they can take her job, but they can't take her joy.
