This piece is about writing letters and postcards to the people I care about. It's about finding joy in sharing, connecting, and being remembered. I dedicate this to the Mailing List.
Can it be I stayed away too long
Did I leave your mind when I was gone
It's not my thing trying to get back
But this time let me tell you where I'm at
- from "I Wanna Be Where You Are" by Michael Jackson
I’ll begin this piece with an excerpt from one of my journal entries entitled "And maybe that’s why I write postcards" written on June 21, 2022:
"Is it the desire to be remembered? To be a part of something? To create a bunch of little extensions of myself to make sure there’s some kind of evidence that I was here and that I mattered and had experiences and thoughts and relationships. I meant something. I meant something to someone. I wasn’t alone in this world. It’s more of a reminder to me than it is to the people I send them to.
The world can be so so so isolating. It’s so large and ruthless and easy to become invisible, but thank God for visibility. For people who see me as I am, without filters and costumes, and still want to be in my life; to still want to care for and love me as I am. For the ability to see myself in my deepest, darkest, scariest moments. To see my flaws, my shortcomings, my struggles, my desires.
I write postcards to others because I wish someone would write some to me. Just to let me know that while they were off on their adventures, they took a moment to think of me. They remembered me. Though we weren’t together, they saw me in their mind and in their heart and thought it right to grab a little slice of their present and send it to me."
End
I started sending my friends letters and postcards sometime early in the pandemic when time was abundant, as were fears of privatization of the United States Postal Service. I ordered a few sheets of Black History-themed stamps, as these were the only stamps I'd ever seen my grandmother use, and started writing.
Originally it was just letters and it was mostly just back-and-forth with my OG penpal, Emersen. Writing letters was such fun and such a great exercise in communicating meaningfully. I limited myself to just one page for all the updates, questions, and well-wishes I had to give. And once it was sent, and a few weeks had passed, I thoroughly enjoyed the excited anticipation of opening my mailbox to find a letter from a dear friend addressed to me! It always put a lasting, genuine smile on my face.
But as the world began to open up and I leaned back into traveling, I got into postcards.
Writing postcards is the ultimate exercise in brevity, especially when your handwriting looks like mine. I had only a few inches to share greetings, learnings from my adventures, what I encountered on the trip that reminded me of them, and how much I looked forward to seeing the reader soon.
It was certainly a challenge, but eventually, the exercise turned into a well-worn pattern. It's now a true staple of my travels. My friends already know that when I return from a trip abroad, they can be sure to expect a postcard in their mailbox within a few weeks. In these instances, they're affectionately known as the Mailing List.
And perhaps another piece of this is sending a letter or postcard requires patience, intention, and skill. When you send someone a letter, you write in a way that is evergreen, lasting, and potent. But you also write with a quiet knowledge that every word you write is true, whether it takes a few days or a few weeks to be read. You learn to write in a way that preserves the feelings you had long enough to be felt when the reader finally receives it. It's an exercise that constantly challenges me as a writer.
Finally, maybe another part of this is just mirroring. My 82-year-old bestie, Betty, still mails me (and the rest of her descendants) Valentine's Day, birthday, and sometimes Easter cards. As if I don't facetime her regularly. I've recently gotten into sending her some back.
If you'd like to be penpals, let me know! And if not, I hope this has at least inspired you to send a letter or two to one of your friends. I pinky promise they'd appreciate it so much! And if you're looking for postcards abroad, just find a cool locally-owned art store or the really weird touristy areas.
Happy writing! <3
