3 songs that been talking to me and what they’re saying
On Wednesday, I was playing ElectroSoul (2026) by DJ Harrison, but forgot to put the album on repeat. Spotify started playing recommended tracks and without warning, I got banger after banger coming through my earphones. I’m not typically one for lyrics, but three of those songs felt so relevant to feelings I’ve been having recently, I felt like they were calling ME out specifically. But with cool basslines underneath.
The neo-soul/R&B girlies been yelling at me. Fair. I needed that. Here’s what I heard.
Say what you mean, mean what you say
It's a new day, there's no running away from yourself
You're getting old, needless to say
It's a new day, and a few grays
Baby girl, you ain't no baby no more
There's no excuses no more
You've got to knock down that door
Hey, hey
The call to integrity in the first line of the song cut sharp. I was taken aback at the simplicity of the notion, wondering if it really was that easy. She sings the line so effortlessly, contradicting the great difficulty I’ve been facing recently when trying to be honest with myself and others about difficult feelings. And as the verse continued, she didn’t let up.
Following her call to integrity, she reminded me of five truths that provide valid reason for why the pursuit of integrity is valuable:
This first verse reminded me that I ought to be a woman of integrity, even if it’s scary, because if it is indeed a new day, I cannot live bound my past self, attitudes, habits or fears (Ephesians 4:22-24). It reminded me that I truly cannot run from myself (where you goin go?) and to do so is evidence of immaturity. Then Yaya called me OLD (baby I’m literally 27, not too much on me). But she’s not wrong. I’m not a baby no more. I shouldn’t be behaving the way I did 5, 10, 15 years ago. I’m not expecting perfection, but I am expecting growth.
To be clear, I’ve put in so much work over the course of my late teens and early adulthood and have indeed changed for the better. BUT there are days when I’m faced with a new challenge and I have to work through something new that’s difficult for me. And in those moments when I want to regress to the avoidant behavior of Baby Thalia, I must remember that I am indeed a grown (and growing) woman with agency and power to knock down the door that I’m running from.
So go ahead and cry about it
Baby, don't be shy about it
We can see it all over you
It's written all over your face
Baby, you look blue
Blue, blue
And baby, the sky is too
Too, too
And baby, the sky is too
Very few people have seen me cry in this life. But I do it, I assure you. It just has historically taken a lot for me to allow myself to express my emotions in that way. It’s just funny that even when I do try to “be shy about it,” as she sings, that it truly is “written all over my face” and tragically obvious to the people around me. I can’t hold no water, y’all. I have no poker face. My facial expressions and my voice truly do reveal my internal world so easily, for better or for worse.
But as I’ve been learning in therapy and constantly reminding myself, that the things I’m crying about? I’m never alone in them. They’re not unique to me. I’m not the first person on the planet to fear loss, feel overlooked or behind, waver in self-confidence, etc. Like this is not a novel experience, so when she connects my blues with that of the sky, I smile at the reminder that the feelings I feel safe only expressing in private are indeed without a doubt shared by someone somewhere, even if I don’t know them personally. Someone’s overcome what I’m struggling with right now and if somewhere under this massive blue sky, they have found victory, then so can I.
Get over yourself
You ain't better than nobody else
You can't run from nothing that's yours to feel
From nothing that's yours to heal
Oh, baby listen
Your lover can't fix it
But time is so heated
Comes back and reveals it
And hands it right back to you
And hands it right back to you
The opening line of the second verse cuts just as sharply as the first. Like she’s right, and I know she’s right, but having her sing “get over yourself” so directly was so funny to me. Like yes ma’am, you’re so right. Not only am I no better than anyone else, I’m no worse than anyone either. Transparently, I’ve been struggling with comparison sporadically for most of my life and when that struggle comes (which isn’t as often these days, thank God), it’s often a task to remind myself to not diminish my self-view in favor of seeing others as better. That someone going to a more renowned or selective school doesn’t make me, a well-educated woman with two degrees, dumb. Or that being the only single or most romantically-unsuccessful person in a room/group doesn’t make me, a person with a fantastic community, the social calendar of my dreams, and an unwavering and reciprocal love and commitment to the people in her life, socially inept. I am no better (and no worse) than anyone else. And if I can get over myself and stop fixating on myself in comparison to others, then perhaps I can live that line all the time, not just most of the time.
In addition not running away from myself, as mentioned in the first verse, Yaya reminds me that I cannot run away from what’s mine to feel and what’s mine to heal. Not only should I not try to run from it, but she challenges me to assume ownership of my feelings and my flaws. They’re mine to feel, to heal, to work through, to overcome, to pray over. I cannot outsource that to anyone else. Not a lover, not a friend, not a lifestyle, not a trip, not a relative. Not even time. Whatever I dodge will simply keep coming back to me until I decide to own it and deal with it
In another life you would be winning
That’s how you see it
That’s how you see
Sleeping on your dreams
You seem defeated
Losing the meaning
Pulling the seams
She reeled me in with the bassline and then literally started reading me line by line. Now to be clear, dear reader, I know for a fact that in THIS life I am indeed winning. I’m living, laughing, loving, and learning in real time. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, blessed beyond measure. God has been so, so, so gracious to me. I am not sleeping on my dreams. I am living my dreams right now. Nearly everything I’ve ever wanted I have right now. An answered prayer if I ever seen one.
AND I must be honest in that there are only a few areas in my life where I feel – not defeated, per se – but rather frustrated that I have yet to attain what I see as success. And, if I’m being very honest, those areas, in only certain moments or seasons, do have me losing the plot and pulling the seams and losing patience and musing on what I don’t have in an unproductive way.
Wait, but what you waiting for?
Why you wait so long, what you waiting for?
And then, under the guise of some smooth keys that’ll immediately get your hips moving, she calls out to me in the midst of that unproductive musing and asks me what exactly is it that I’m waiting for? If those small areas are truly thorns in my side, then what am I waiting for to do something about it? What am I waiting for to either attain that success or shift my perspective on what success in that area looks like? What am I waiting for to investigate the source of that desire for success as well as the real meaning of the frustration that not attaining that success makes me feel? What am I waiting for to pray about it? What am I waiting for to do the work behind it? What am I waiting for to get the thorn up out my side?
It’s all over you
it’ll come to view
it’s all over you
see it the way through
you can’t not be what you are and
you’re not lost nor even far friend
you can’t not be who you are
you’re not lost nor even far friend
you can’t not be who you are
Nia Andrews’ hook and chorus in this song spoke most clearly to me, along with that entrancing opening hum and guitar line. Unlike the other songs, Nia largely observes rather than calls. It (who I am, who I’m meant to be) is all over me. Not only will it come into view, but when it does I am to see it all the way through. I was created for a purpose and that purpose is in me and on me. It’s over my life. And as it becomes apparent to me, at every step, at every opportunity, I must see it through. I cannot cower or live beneath the call on my life. I must pursue this life with my absolute best effort. Not only because it’s in me, but because it’s really hard to walk away from it.
Nia sings that you can’t not be who you are, which is a regular realization I come to, especially as I navigate dating. I hate to admit it, but I’ve betrayed myself many a times in the name of attracting the affections of men who couldn’t care less about me. I’ve worn clothes I ain’t had no business wearing, went to events I ain’t had no business going to, and pretended to be interested in things I ain’t never been interested in a day in my life. But I did it because I thought that’s what I needed to do to succeed in dating. But success shouldn’t come at the cost of self-betrayal.
I like the clothes I wear, I like the events I go to, and I like the things I’m interested in. I don’t have to front for nobody to get them to think I’m cool, hot, and smart. Baby I am cool, hot, and smart LOL.
As Nia reminds me, I’m not lost nor far. In every way, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
We can’t not be what we are and
i know times are real bizarre friend
we can’t not be who we are
don’t get lost while flying far friend
you can’t not be who you are
Times are bizarre, but pretending to be anyone but who I am is the easiest way to lose my way and end up somewhere I ain’t never wanted to be.
If I am to live my life and answer the call God has placed on my life, I must keep my eyes on my own goal, stop comparing myself to others, mind my business, be honest with myself and others, and love and accept myself as I am.
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