I turned 24 and wrote down some lessons I learned.
Take my hand
As one we will stand
You know it's now or never
To say hello to forever
— from "Alright" by Jamiroquai
Today is March 11, 2023, my 24th birthday! And in true Thalia nature, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to reflect, if not only for a moment, on 5 lessons I’ve learned in this last year that I’m sure will be of use in my next year of life. This will be brief, so let’s get into it!
Life imitates nature in such beautiful ways, one being its adherence to cycles. One particular cycle I learned how to navigate in this last year is the want → have → release cycle. For example, this time last year, I was preparing to start a job I wanted so badly and prayed very hard for. Then I had the job for 10 lovely and exciting months before it all came to an abrupt end on the last morning of Black History Month. Similarly, I wanted and prayed very hard for a positive dating experience, then suddenly, quite literally out of the blue, it appeared! And, though it was only for a sliver of time, I had the dating experience of my dreams! Then, just as quickly as it had appeared, it sifted away like sand through your fingers.
Over and over, I wanted, I had, and I was forced to release. In so many different spaces and contexts, I saw this cycle repeated. And I’m not even goin lie, there was a lot of grief there. There was a lot of digging very, very deep to muster enough emotional and mental fortitude to keep my chin up and eyes straight ahead. To not be overcome, but to ground myself in gratitude in the very center part of that cycle: the fact that I had at all. I couldn’t allow myself to grieve what could’ve come from that dating experience for too long before I became overjoyed at the fact that it happened to me at all! Especially because I doubted very seriously that something like that was even possible for me to begin with!!!!! But the fact that it occurred at all, in real life is what could bring a smile through the tears every time. And the expectant joy rooted in knowing that the point of a cycle is that it keeps happening, keeps moving forward. I know there’s better to come because that’s quite literally how this works.
The lesson here is that I have to get better at letting go so that I’ll be free enough to receive the next.
I’ve worked out more this year than I ever have in my life. I’m also stronger now than I’ve ever been in my life. But the greatest lesson in this journey with my body is that it’s not about numbers, sizes, scales, progress pictures, etc.
What I learned is that the goal is simply strength, mobility, and a better quality of life! Idc what the scale says, I WANNA BE ABLE TO WALK MY DOG AT 95!! I wanna be able to kayak with my kids at 45. I wanna be able to climb mountains in Japan when I’m 70. I wanna be able to travel easily for the rest of my life without pain. I don’t want my body to ever hold me back. And I know eventually, it will. Like I get that our bodies will eventually break down, but my fitness goal is simply to be as strong as I can for as long as I can.
I mentioned this in a blog some months ago, but there are some things you just gotta do by yourself. Not necessarily solo like without support, but quite literally things that only you can do. YOU have to do your own stunts. YOU have to protect your own peace. YOU have to stand up for your own joy. It has to be YOU.
I felt voiceless, invisible, small. So it was I that had to give myself this medium to express myself. I had to build my own mic so I could get all of this out of me. Sometimes I’m screaming into the void, but baby this sure is a pretty void.
Very simple lesson that I’m grateful I didn’t have to learn the hard way. If you aren’t intentional about having wonderful, inspirational, genuine, and supportive people in your life, then navigating this life can be insanely difficult. But my community??? Oh yeah, love me some them. I, very truly, am because they are. Like I am better, kinder, smarter, gentler, more creative, more loving, more Thalia because they inspire me DAILY to do so simply by being who they are.
My pastor said this a few Sundays ago, but I’ve really been learning and executing this lesson daily. What you doing if you not giving back??? With your finances, your time, your talents, your expertise?? Like I got my first big girl job and really coulda been acting stingy but that’s not how my mama raised me! She raised me to care for those in need, give when I can, and tithe like I’m sposed to. And the late icon Alice Carson Tisdale herself reminded our honors college class often that to whom much is given, much is required. Heard, Mrs. Tisdale. Heard for sure.
Cheers to more life. Cheers to more lessons. Cheers to more love. Cheers to more growth. Cheers to more joy. Cheers to more fun. I'm just happy to be here, fr.
