My gratitude for the best doctor I've ever had and what I did with the information she gave me.
Disclaimer: What you are about to read is based purely on my personal experience. I am not a healthcare professional, sex educator, or reproductive rights expert and I am by no means offering medical advice. I’m literally just a girl with a piece of copper in her uterus.
People learn about sexual and reproductive health from a bunch of different places. Some learn it in school (good for you!), some learn it from their families (for better or for worse), and some learn it from the internet (jinkies). But when it came to really understanding what birth control was, what it wasn’t, and whether it was something I even needed to consider, my school, family, and internet resources weren't what helped me.
I owe my understanding of my body, my sexual and reproductive health, and my birth control options to my first OBGYN and the best doctor I ever had: Dr. Layla S. Jaffree, MD.
She is the reason I have my IUD now, so before I talk about my experience with it, I would be remiss if I did not publicly give her the flowers she deserves.
Dr. Jaffree saw me. Long before I could truly really appreciate what she was saying, she helped me understand how critical knowledge of and control over my body as a Black woman was . She was patient with me and my million questions, she calmed my nerves when I was embarrassed to go to her office at first as if I wasn’t old enough to be there, and she really saw me as a person. She took a genuine interest in me for the time I was in her office in a way that I had never experienced before with any other healthcare provider.
For four years, she was truly the undisputed MVP of my healthcare team. In 2023, a year after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, I saw her for one last appointment before she and her family relocated to the Canary Islands, where she now practices.
I will admit that I know that everyone doesn’t live in places where they have access to OBGYNs, let alone OBGYNs that understand their cultural and racial experience. I’m really blessed to have truly just stumbled into this woman’s care, only going to her because she was also caring for a family member. But if you’re actively searching for an OBGYN, here are a few things I’d recommend keeping in mind:
Though Dr. Jaffree is no longer my doctor, I am still convicted with gratitude for the years that she was. I’m grateful for the safe space she created so consistently, I’m grateful for the education she gave so generously and objectively, I’m grateful for her commitment to practicing medicine, I’m grateful for her being a Black woman and treating me with dignity and respect, and I’m grateful for her empowering me to understand and to be a diligent steward of my sexual and reproductive health.
One way she did that was explaining to me how birth control worked.
Chile, when she was explaining birth control options to me, I was shook and nervous and embarassed. I hadn’t even done anything, but I felt as though even entertaining the idea of birth control meant that I was wrong or something was bad about me.
I wasn’t seeking birth control out to help with any other health concerns, I think I just wanted deathly afraid of pregnancy after learning about the black maternal mortality rate and medical racism in college. Sexually active or not, I felt the need to protect myself and my future self. So I pondered what I really wanted and what I didn’t so I could choose a birth control option that worked for me.
First and foremost, I knew good and well I wasn’t taking no pills. I hate pills of all sorts. I despise them, really. Of course, I’m as grateful as anyone else for modern medicine, but there are few things I detest as much as I do taking pills for any reason. I hate taking them. I hated the idea of having to take them regularly and I just knew that wasn’t something I was willing to commit to.
What I also knew is that I by no means wanted anything that required hormones, which is a vast majority of birth control options. I’ll admit this requirement was based on no facts, no research, just vibes and hearsay; I had only heard friends with hormonal birth controls complain about how it affected their bodies and I had no desire to share their fate. I had no empirical data to inform my aversion to hormonal birth controls, it was just a deal breaker for me at the time.
I will add a disclaimer, now a bit older and a bit wiser, that for some people there are indeed benefits to hormonal birth control options. Don’t just listen to the worst case scenarios online about what a certain option did to a stranger’s body (even with this piece! Again, I ain’t no doctor! I’m just a girl!) I encourage you to weigh your options with a real life licensed healthcare provider that you trust.
So based on my requirements at the time, I wanted something extremely low maintenance (more like no maintenance), minimal to no side effects, and that had no hormones in it. The copper IUD (Paragard), it turned out, would be my new friend.
About 6 months passed between me deciding to get it and actually showing up for the appointment to get it inserted (I was in college at the time and had to wait until the semester ended to go back home). Thanks to my insurance, the entire procedure was free (HALLELUJAHHHH). It took 5-10 minutes max, with most of that time being spent on Dr. Jaffree trying to get me to chill out.
It’s truly a set it and forget it form of birth control that lasts for up to a decade! I don’t have to remember anything, schedule an appointment every few months, or set an alarm for something. It offers an ease that I am so grateful for as someone who has more than enough to think about doing.
Everyone’s body is different, but after the initial month or two (which I’ll talk about later), I truly forgot it was there by the third period. I don’t suffer any pain, cramps, spotting, or anything of the sort. We’re 4 years in and besides my annual exams, I don’t even know it’s there.
I’m not even goin hold you. It hurts. Real bad.
The insertion process, even with a doctor as careful and gentle as Dr. Jaffree, was still extremely uncomfortable for me. (Shoutout to my mama for holding my hand!) And unfortunately for me, the discomfort didn’t go away. The first few days were WACK, I was not having a good time. And come to find out, my uterus wasn’t so happy about this copper visitor so it decided to just…push it out??? I had to get it REINSERTED, this time alone, and then the beef between me and my uterus finally came to an end.
We all handle pain differently. I rarely take pain medicine, but chile this right here bout brought me to my knees the first few days. Again, once the dust settled on the second insertion, it was smooth sailing from there after maybe the first week. I don’t have a recommendation for how to manage the discomfort/pain from insertion, but I will just say that if it starts to seriously concern you, hit your doctor up!
Before my IUD, I only had a couple periods a year and even when they came, they were light. After the IUD, they started coming like clockwork every single month and initially were a lot heavier than I had ever seen. After the first few months, they lightened up again and now they’re extremely manageable.
All in all? I’d give the copper IUD a strong 10/10 rating. Even though we started off a little rocky, it’s been the smoothest of sailing ever since. And in the climate we’re in, having that little piece of copper inside my uterus has given me assurance and confidence that no matter what happens, no matter what legislation is passed or revoked, and no matter what decision is made for me, I’ve done what I need to do to protect my future and steward my sexual and reproductive health to the best of my ability.
May you find a doctor who sees you like Dr. Jaffree saw me and may you be empowered to make the best decisions for your body, your health, and your future. I’m claiming sexual and reproductive health and well-being for you and yours!
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
https://www.lgbtqiahealtheducation.org/resources/in/reproductive-health/
Thalia is grateful for access to quality healthcare and for safe spaces to talk about this with her friends!
Guest edited by Emersen F. Freeman, MPH.